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I immediately knelt in front of her and handed her the wrapped package that I’d intended to give her the next day. ‘Donna, I had planned to give you this tomorrow, but I think now is more appropriate.’I was amazed that the scream that she emitted didn’t fetch half the village out. ‘Is this what I think it is?’ She stammered excitedly.‘Will you marry me?’ I asked as a confirmation.She looked at me in bemusement at least she looked at me for a few seconds before she was opening the box and studying its contents, ‘Are you sure David? Don’t you want to sample the goods first in case they aren’t up to your satisfaction?’ The second question was asked half in jest and half with a very nervous seriousness.‘I am more than happy with ‘the goods’ as you call them. In some ways I hope you are as bad as you make out.’That surprised her, shocked her even, as her expression showed.‘Yup, because then I’ll have the excuse to keep you practising and practising until you’re perfect.’The relief showed. She giggled, and patted her distended belly, looking at it with a stupid grin of satisfaction. I knew she was very near the point of being totally incapable, and adding more wine to the mix wasn't going top help. Needless to say, the glass of wine when it came was a large one, full to the lip. Jim handed it to her, saying don't spill it, so mum took it in both hands and drank a good half of it straight off. Mmm, that's good, she said, setting it down on the bar. Then she said: God, I really really need a pee, my bladder's so full I can't hold any more. Well, you'd better go then, said Jim. Mum tried to get off the bar stool, but then said despairingly: I think I'm too drunk to walk. Well, we do have a situation, don't we, Jim said. I know, let's all go and play some pool, that'll take your mind off it. Mum looked at him in confusion, she wasn't even capable of standing, let alone playing pool, even if she knew how. However, she let herself be lifted off the stool, then.
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