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"No ophthalmologist for now. But, I want to see you every week until I'm sure that your eyes are safe." I told you. I can't afford the money and I can't afford the time off."Paul stared him down. "Every Thursday, I want to see you here at 8:00 in the morning. That'll be enough time for a quick look at your eyes and a cup of coffee. You'll still be at your desk by 9:00. I won't take no for an answer." I still can't afford an office visit every week. I just can't swing the money."Paul smiled and sprung the trap. "Luckily, the office doesn't open until 9:00, so I can't charge you." I won't take charity, Paul," replied David with a little heat, and crossed his arms. "No matter how nicely you put it."Turning up the heat, Paul leaned forward and shot back, "Listen David, this is not charity."He backed off and continued in a gentler voice, "We've known each other since, what, forever? Who, may I ask, got me through high school physics? I'd be selling insurance right now if it weren't for. .. You're coming empty handed?"Wise Italian GrandfatherAn old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated... 38 revolver, so you will always remember me." But grandpa, I really don't like guns ... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?" You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna DA business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos." Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!' "?Irish blonde...An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue.
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