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When the Going Gets Tough, We Bomb Iraq.11. So Spank Us!10. It’s Not Our Fault All the Good Ones Get Shot9. Our Pants May Fall, But Your 401(K) Value Won’t!8. Felonies Dismissed While You Wait7. Slide your fine ass over here and give us a vote, Darlin’!!6. Mmmmmmm ... Peachy!5. Oh, So You Wanna Play Rough, Huh?4. C’mon -- We Didn’t Know He Was THAT Horny!3. We’ve Got Cigarfignugen!2. Impeach THIS!!!and the Number 1 New Slogan for the Democratic Party... 1. Laid in AmericaI eat Swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger. -- Steven WrightThis guy is sitting at the end of the bar looking gloomy. His friend arrives and sits down beside him. “Why so glum, chum?” he asks his sad friend.“Oh, it’s my wife, she beats me at everything we compete at. Jogging, bowling, tennis, cards ... just everything.”The friend orders a beer and pauses to think. “I know,” he exclaims, “Challenge her to a pissing contest.”“A pissing contest?”“Surely you can out distance her on that ... do. I lift her right heel and place it over my left shoulder. This motion causes her to slide slightly further off the edge of the desk before I place the other heel over my right shoulder and scoot forward in my chair. She is forced to lay back on the desk, with my hands under her ass the only things keeping her from falling off the edge and onto my lap. My tongue moves slowly up and down her slit, refusing to move up far enough to reach her clit and I feel her trying to raise her body closer to my mouth, heels pushing against my back desperate for a way to bring me into contact with the hottest part of her anatomy. I stop altogether and she whimpers looking me right in the eyes with a smile playing around my mouth."Put a thumb and finger on each nipple and roll them for me. Now! Don't stop until I tell you!" My tongue returns to its narrow pathway and as her hands torment her own nipples, everything begins to throb and spasm as the first of several orgasms takes over her body. My.
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