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** The late November rain was chilly and penetrating. It seemed to seep through all my layers of clothes, right to my already too cold skin. It seemed impossible these days to get warm enough. I was trudging to work on a regular Tuesday. I felt dark and gloomy. I had felt dark and gloomy every single day since he had left. Every day when I woke up, I thought maybe today. Maybe today I’ll feel better. Maybe today I won’t miss him so much that my chest aches. Maybe this will be the day it’ll all be okay. So far that day hadn’t come. Obviously three weeks wasn’t going to cut it. I felt barely alive. I went to class, sort of ate, and slept a lot. Most nights I woke up, sweating, but there was never anyone in my room. Never anyone whispering my name. I found myself looking for little clues, hoping for a sign that he was still there. Moved mail, a neatly made bed, that remembered feeling that he was watching over me. I desperately wanted to feel it, but honestly there was nothing. He. The rest of the hour he not only spoke a little more loudly than usual, but he spoke a hell of a lot more slowly too. Almost as though purposely doing so, so that Bella could understand the lecture better. But I also noticed as he swept the room, walking back and forth from side to side on the small little platform stage, that he always seemed to stop in the middle for a moment while doing so, gazing directly towards Bella. Bella always gave him a smile the moment his eyes locked on hers. And after the third or fourth time of his doing that, I actually caught him smiling back at her briefly after doing so.I was now damn anxious to get out of there. And with less than twenty minutes to go before class was over, I was beginning to think I might actually do so before anything further could happen. It was usually during this time that Professor Jensen gave us a short chapter to read for work assignments. And he did so. After which he usually sat silently reading through his own notes.
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