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And stranger still to know the precise moment when said event occurs. You are going along, business as usual when it creeps in on you like the afternoon tide. Things seem okay, then they get a little dangerous and before you know it, you’re out to sea with nowhere to go or hide. The only course of action is to swim hard forever or to smash against the rocks, hoping you are quickly lost. What does one do when there is nothing left to do? Where do you begin when you have no idea where you are? All that you know is that everything is a failure, every part of you is a loss, and emptiness takes on a whole new meaning. Times like these are beyond depression and the horrid suicide. Rock bottom is when there are no emotions, nothing left, nothing at all. There is no reasoning, and it takes reasoning to die. You do have choices. You can lay silent with your mind racing, racing to the tune of regrets, doubts, fears, failures, and never agains, never wills. Or you can pick yourself up slowly. There were no complains from Dale either. I had left to go to the supermarket when Ellen arrived home. By the time I returned Dale had already talked to Ellen. When I open the door Dale and Ellen was there on the couch laughing. Dale was wearing a pink baby doll, Ellen was wearing a blue baby doll . They was a bottle of wine on ice on the coffee table. Then Dale said that this is the first chance for the three of us to have a toast. So I made a glass of wine and passed it around. As I held the glass up Dale and Ellen did too. As Dale said, “a toast to the three of us living together. May this be the start of a wonderful time we will have together. May we enjoy each other’s company in a fun and relaxing way.” After the toast we took a sip of wine we started to give each other a house warming kiss. First I kissed Dale, then I kissed Ellen then Dale kissed Ellen. As the three of us relaxed on the couch getting more tipsy by the minute. With me in the middle of two marvelous ladies I.
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