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"She knew I hadn't stolen her mom's blouse! Why would I steal a blouse? She was just seizing another opportunity to grind my tortured psycheinto mincemeat ... like she always does! And, like always, it was workinglike a charm. I stood there speechless and quivering, wondering howlong it would be before she had my balls in one of her vice-like grips. I mean, ever since she discovered how vulnerable a set of male gonadscan be she uses mine just to keep in practice. I squeezed my thighstogether tightly. You know ... just in case.Mr. and Mrs. Evans paused briefly, like they were trying to decide ifthey had heard Lenore correctly. Briefly enough to process her tauntingremarks accusing me of stealing the delicate, flimsy blouse draped onthe hanger hooked over my finger. I could see them shaking their headsin disbelief and staring accusingly in my direction.It was embarrassing enough walking the short distance from my housewhile carrying her mother's pale pink blouse swaying. About an hour from the cottage, I heard a strange noise from the back of the car. It started shaking so violently I had to pull over. Walking around the back of the car, I found the problem. The right rear tire had gone flat. 'No big deal, I thought to myself. We’ll be back on the road in no time.'I opened the truck, moved the bags, and grabbed the jack. The spare was a little piece of shit doughnut, but it would get us the rest of the way. I went to loosen the first lug nut when snap! The cheap little wrench snapped apart in my hand. 'Now we’re screwed.'I tossed the broken piece of cheap steel to the ground, mumbled a few profanities, and got back in the car.“What happened?” Lindsay asked.“The wrench for the lug nuts broke,” I said, still trying to keep my composure. Inside I was a thousand degrees of rage.“Call someone,” she said. “The roadside number is right here.” She pulled out the booklet and gave me the card. I started dialing, all the while Lindsay is teasing me with her.
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