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“What the fuck?”“What the fudge is that?” she arched an eyebrow, glancing at my e-cig. “This is what you're sneaking off to do? Geez, James, are you an idiot?”I scowled at my sister. “It's just vaping. Fuck, Jenny, it's not a big deal.”“Big deal?” She arched her eyebrows in a convincing version of Mom's disapproval. “You're smoking.”“An e-cigarette. It's not the same thing as the real ones.”“There's still nicotine in them! Mom will freak out.”Mom would freak out. She was a doctor and was always going on and on about healthy living and treating our bodies right so we can have long, productive lives. “It's not like real cigarettes. They're healthy.” I took a puff, savoring the cherry-vanilla flavor. “Here, try it. You'll like it.”“I'm not trying that, James.” She was acting just like mom, saying my name, putting on a show of disapproval. I was about to shrug and tell her to scram when my stomach twisted in fear. “Are you going to tell Mom?”“I should tell Mom.” She glanced at the vape. "Congratulations, Comrade Yana," said Comrade Marshal Artz, the Commandant of the Josef Stalin Institute for Blowing Things Up in Tblisi, Georgia. "Is great news for you. Am pleased to announce you and you boyfriend, Comrade Batschka, have volunteered for transfer to Minsk and to most glorious secret research facility in all of Soviet Union. Facility is code-named Donald Duck Animation Rotoscoping Projects Activity (DDARPA) to fool Amerikanski CIA. Science Officer is Comrade Director Makoyev. Is good man, from here in Georgia. Transfer will be approved when you have paid standard fee."Yana knew she would have to pay the standard fee for something because the Comrade Marshall had locked the door after escorting her into his office. She lifted her skirt and pulled aside her industrial cotton panties, giving the short, fat, balding man with the misshapen nose a good look at her shaved babushka. "Is to be quickie, Comrade Marshall, or are we make time for couch today?"Two hours later, as.
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