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Even Mabel’s shop was frequented by lovestruck hipsters who quoted Neruda incorrectly as they sipped on their nonfat caramel lattes.“Excuse me?”Mabel applied another ring of blue eyeliner. It caught unflatteringly in all of her wrinkles, and it really wasn’t the right color for her, but I didn’t dare say anything. The last time I tried to suggest Mabel change her appearance—she dyed her hair purple—she screamed at me and threatened to make me do the Sunday kiddie readings with Frank. Frank was Mabel’s only other employee. He wore the same shirt every shift and perpetually had a booger hanging from his right nostril.“Well, you’re always complaining about being a single mess. You should go see a shrink and talk about it to her.”“Thanks, Mabel, but I don’t think I’ve reached the level that I need professional help yet.”She gave me one of her long-suffering looks. It would have been scary (considering her threats to make me work in close quarters with Frank) but her heavily made up face. My wife Mandi is a total hottie! She always turns heads wherever we go. She is an attention whore, and always loves seeing guys checking her out! About a year ago my wife went out for "girls night out". I was out of town at the time so all of our conversation took place on the phone. She told me she was bored and wanted to go drinking...but she didnt have anyone to go with. I suggested a friend of hers Leigh. She said it was a good idea, she would give her a call. The next call I got was her letting me know that Leigh was up for going out too. I commented "maybe you'll meet a couple college guys?" Leigh and her ended up going to a dance club. After a few drinks, they spotted 2 young college studs. Leigh and her ended up flirting with the guys. They danced for a while getting more drunk. In between the dancing they would return to the table and for more flirting and drinking. I recieved a voicemail from her, "hey honey, Leigh and I met these two college guys and they are fuckin.
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