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I lied and told them the answers that they wanted to hear. I didn’t bother to tell them what really happened because I didn’t want to talk about it. Only one question surprised me, and it came from my mother: Did you get to see his thing? My second day as Matt’s assistant was not very different from the first one. I spent most of the day in the office writing checks, ordering things, making coffee, and writing phone messages. And for extra fun, I took Matt’s clothes to the dry-cleaners. Matt came home around seven and told me to leave. He muttered, “Thanks for everything” before I left. My third day was a bit different. I got to meet Andrew, Matt’s publicist. Andrew and Matt walked into the office and Andrew hissed, “Do you mind?” at me. I assumed he meant that he wanted me to leave. I glanced over at Matt, he nodded as if to say, “Do what he says.” I left the room feeling like an intrusive bug. I didn’t like Andrew the moment I saw him. Also, the way he said, “Do you mind?” as. It doesn’t hurt to show them off sometimes. I apply my makeup and head out of my room. BANG BANG BANG. His door shakes as I rather strongly bang upon his door. “Come on slowpoke! You don’t want all the hot chicks to be taken do you?” “Yeah yeah yeah, I’m comin, keep your panties on.” I plop on the couch and flip on the tv, and decide to watch the old episode of Invader Zim that comes on. It’s the one where some aliens try to take earth to be used for fuel and Zim gets all pissy because it was charted as HIS planet, yada yada yada. I still wind up waiting another 10 minutes before he comes out of his room. Swear, that boy takes twice as long as I do. I take a whiff of him and he already smells like a party. “Go spray some axe dude, you reek.” He rolls his bright eyes and sprays himself with some deodorant. I take another whiff, “Much better,” I thrust out the crook of my arm for him to wind his through, “Let us take our leave good sir.”“Positively.
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