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.. you will regret it.This one is compliments of JohnAll in all it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, and malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage.But more importantly for the story, it had been over 48 hours since I last took a dump. I tried to jump start the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with 6 cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell.As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the omission of the occasional tiny fart that big things would be happening soon.Alas, I had to stop by the mall to pick up an order for my fiancée. I completed this task, and I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go.I. Sure I'd had the odd girlfriend, but I only ever seemed to date the "good" girls, and was starting to think that a good night snog was as far as I would ever get. Then one day a new family moved into the house next to mine.In the firdt few days I saw the parents and a couple of young daughters, but one day on my way home I saw a 15/16 year old girl going into the house. She was tall, blonde, fit and I was in lust. That night my dad told me he had met the family next door. There were 3 daughters living there and their son was away at college. He told me the girls' names, and that night I drifted off to sleep with thoughts about Hayley.A few days later I finally got a chance to talk to her, and we got on okay. I invited her over to use the pool in our yard, and she came over later that day. My parents had gone out and i was home alone, and when I saw her in her swimsuit my eyes were popping. I had to turn my back straight away to adjust bulge in my shorts. I jumped in the water fast,.
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