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The pack was empty. I rolled over and went back to sleep. Next thing I knew, the door opened and Phil said, ‘For Christ’s sakes, get the fuck out of bed.’ He was talking frat talk ‘Blurgh,’ I said, but he knew what I meant. ‘Isaac,’ he said crisply, authoritatively. ‘It’s late. Get out of bed.’ Now he was back to Daddy-speak. I opened one gluey eye, wiped the drool off my cheek, and looked at the clock. ‘Seven o’clock is late?’ He kneed the bedrail and said, ‘Everyone else is up and moving. The cats are the only people still asleep.’ ‘The cats aren’t people, Phil.’ ‘You know what I mean. Get up.’ When I got downstairs, Phil was the only one left home, checking his Palm Pilot one last time before he went to work. I put the empty pack of cigarettes on the counter, and he just looked at me. I took the last fifty dollars out of my wallet, leaving the last forty in, and put the bills on top of the cigarette pack. ‘I’m going the fuck home,’ I said. ‘Good,’ he said, and nodded. ‘You. .." It means 'I'm available for sex with anybody'. Any guy wearing the cap is making a commitment. If he then turns the lady down, even if she's fat and fifty, he might get a slap from her and he'll certainly get a ribbing from his mates. The implication is that he can't manage it, rather than he doesn't fancy her. And boys are sensitive about that sort of thing." So, he could find himself with some real dogs, then," I said."Maybe. But like I said, the kids see it as first-aid. If somebody was bleeding to death in the street, you wouldn't pass them by because they weren't pretty, would you?" I thought the plague was going to be a paradise for ugly men. You know, the fatties, the wimps, the nerds, all the ones that the girls aren't interested in. But it sounds like they're going to be left high and dry when all the girls have permanent mates." Not all the girls WANT permanent mates. We could be seeing a social revolution at least as big as the sixties here." Oh?", I queried. "How so?".
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