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A date, a proper date, like as your boyfriend?" Not my boyfriend yet, you'd need to last a few dates before I called you my boyfriend." OK, so when do you want to go out?" Tonight, where do you live?" About a mile down the road, in Beetham." OK, go home, get yourself showered and changed, then meet me back here at seven. Walk here, I'll drive." Sounds like a plan, I'll be back here at seven sharp, how should I dress?" In clothes would be good. Anything smart, I don't want you dress like you are now, but nothing flashy. Tell your mum you might not be coming home, just in case I like you. Now shoo, I need to go and change as well." She gave me a genuinely sweet smile and sent me off with a wave of her hand.I walked home in a daze, had that actually happened, and if it had, would she really be there at seven when I got back?When I got home the house was empty, but it was still early, not even five o'clock yet. I went up to my room and had a rummage about. I had a Ben Sherman shirt that. I shouldn't really, mum said, I'm completely blotto already. Well, maybe just a little glass of wine, she added quickly, in case the offer was withdrawn. So mum finished her beer and let out a huge belch. She giggled, and patted her distended belly, looking at it with a stupid grin of satisfaction. I knew she was very near the point of being totally incapable, and adding more wine to the mix wasn't going top help. Needless to say, the glass of wine when it came was a large one, full to the lip. Jim handed it to her, saying don't spill it, so mum took it in both hands and drank a good half of it straight off. Mmm, that's good, she said, setting it down on the bar. Then she said: God, I really really need a pee, my bladder's so full I can't hold any more. Well, you'd better go then, said Jim. Mum tried to get off the bar stool, but then said despairingly: I think I'm too drunk to walk. Well, we do have a situation, don't we, Jim said. I know, let's all go and play some.
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