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She had the charisma of a brick but maybe meeting Tab’s ex wasn’t quite her plan for tonight.’ Veronica, or Vee as we call her, put her hand on my shoulder and looked at me seriously. ‘You ok?’ ‘Absolutely fine, thanks. Meeting Tab is not going to floor me. It’s been three months for God’s sake.’ She rubbed my back, ‘Good for you.’ I should, at this point, tell you a little about Vee. Definitely not my type, she’s what my mum would have called ‘county.’ She looks posh and is. She can, when drink is taken, be earthy and hilarious but sober she’s a bit too serious. That said, when a girl with a seriously upper class voice swears like a trooper it can be captivatingly funny for some reason I cannot quite explain. It was about 10.30 when Vee came to stand beside me again and she was clearly as pissed as a piglet. She sort of leaned against me, needing the support I think. ‘I know this probably isn’t the time, one being a tad under the influence and so on, but there is something I’d like. A little awkward on the syntax, but I got the drift; "Mike ... and you are ... Kendo?" I said slowly pointing at my chest then his.It was stupid, I know, why is it that when you speak to someone who uses English as a second language, your voice gets very slow and louder?Kendo either didn't mind or was grateful that I was going slowly, I couldn't tell which but he was smiling, "Would rike ask question to Mike." Go ahead buddy, shoot." I urged."Uh ... Kendo rike to know if wha happen in Begas, stay in Begas?" Well ... I guess so. I never gave it too much thought," I said, wondering myself it that was true.Kendo smiled again, "Ah ... berry good, berry, berry good," he nodded, "Kendo rike to ask Mike for berry big favor. Kendo ask Mike to sreep on wife."I almost choked on the beer I had in my mouth, "Excuse me ... did you just ask me to fu ... err, sleep with your wife?" Ah yes ... Kendo exprain. Wife no sreep with other man before Kendo. Wife think Kendo not so good for fucking. Kendo.
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