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He wore all black, including a leather jacket and slicked hair with sideburns. He might as well have just come from the 1950’s.He was tall, with a better than decent build, and made himself comfortable right away, tossing his jacket onto a chair before taking Sydnie-Ann in his arms and kissing her full on the mouth.“OHHH!” Reggie gasped.“Hey, we can do that ... we can do that even better, Reggie,” I whispered. But deep in my heart I felt inadequate.“Oh, my God!” Reggie whispered excitedly. “They’re going to get it on!” She backed away from the window and slowly hugged the wall until reaching the dimly lit lamp and switched it off, leaving us in the dark peering into the well lit bedroom of Sydnie-Ann Jablonski.I was fine with that, and mentally praised Reggie for thinking quickly on her feet, until I heard her say: “I hope they leave the lights on.”I didn’t answer. For having turned back to watch Sydnie-Ann and her side-burned boyfriend before they shut their lights off, I saw what. .. (Please attach rest of story... )INTRO #2: I spread apart those well turned legs looking for that divine honey pot that I knew was sure to be there. My practiced eye traveled up one leg until I spotted it. Sure enough, "Miller's Honey Box" was stamped on the side and I knew I had found another antique treasure from the 1920's. The sturdy little piece of furniture had stood quietly in the back of the store... (Please attach rest of story... )INTRO #3: It was a dark and stormy night... (On second thought, skip this one. It's a stupid opening and totally unbelievable anyway.)Which brings me to my last point. We have to stop using dumb openings to these things. Just get the disclaimer out of the way and get on with the action. Our customer satisfaction ratings have slipped from 97% to 95.3% in the latest J.D. Powers survey, and I think our "too clever" openings may have something to do with it.And use a simple disclaimer, like: *Under 18? Go away.* That'd do it. OK, let's get to work..
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