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‘Anna…’ ‘What do you want? I don’t have time to waste. We’ll be leaving shortly.’ ‘I just wanted to say…’ I saw the red box sitting on top of the clothes in her open suitcase. ‘What is it?’ she sounded impatient. ‘I just wanted…’ I lost my nerve. ‘I wanted to say farewell.’ ‘Well, you could have done that outside with the others… you didn’t have to come bursting in here. You act as if I’ll never see you again.’ ‘Two months is a long time…’ She sniffed, pulling a new dress over her head. ‘You don’t have to pretend that you’re going to miss me, Olivia. I know you’ll be glad to be rid of me for a while. I hope you’ll use the time wisely… hopefully your French skills will have progressed at least a little by then.’ She snapped her suitcase shut, and pulled it off the bed, brushing past me to leave the room. I stood there, looking at the folded dress in its open box. I could feel the anger stirring inside me, and I wanted to take scissors to it and rip it apart. I knew it was jealousy, I. I had never sown love because love had never been a desire of mine. It was not something I had ever truly wanted or needed. I had a House to care for, brothers to share it with, friends to entertain me, and lovers to warm my bed. There was nothing else I needed. Nothing more I wanted.Maybe if I had wanted love, I could have seen a way to have Joey. I didn't and I couldn't and no irrational, hysterical emotional breakdown in the middle of the night could change that.Pharaoh, however, seemed to love me as much as anyone could. It was time for me to grow up, accept reality and let go of this foolish image of a love that did not exist. Pharaoh was here, now. Joey was over. Pharaoh was as close to love as I could get. That would have to be enough. I could not afford to open my heart again.The last night before the opening, I returned to the hotel around ten pm hoping to get a few hours sleep only to find Honda circling the lobby with a fussy Hianko."Hey, hey! Look who's here!" He bounced.
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