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One night I hooked up with a couple old buddies Stan & Jay we went out for drinks at a local watering hole. We were playing pool, having a few beers when this woman Candy came over to say Hi, Candy was another buddy Jim's sister we all grew up together Jim lived out of town, she was his older sister. Candy was 38 about 5.6, Fat 280 lbs, Short Blond Hair, she joined us playing pool drinking we got into some shots by the end of the night we were all feeling pretty good. We were getting ready to head out, Jay said lets go back to my place Candy joined, ended up joining us, we all took a cab back to Jay's where we proceeded to have more beers. Jay was single lived in a home things between him and Candy were getting very friendly, she got up went to the bathroom Stan & I looked at Jay to say what the fuck are you doing man? Jay just said come on guys she probably a really good fuck, Candy came back she was really feeling good, she sat back on the couch beside Jay, next thing I knew her. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.”Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of three. Everyone agreed that was good.But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.Then the three men turned to the Civil Servant and said, “What can your cat do?”The Civil Servant called his cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.” Coffee Break jumped to his feet. He ate all the cookies, drank the milk, and crapped on the paper. The he screwed the other three cats ... Claimed he injured his back while doing it ... Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions...Put.
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