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It read:Dear God,How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.By the way, there was $4 missing.I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.Sincerely, EdnaThis is a story from Pat and his dinner date ... Now you know why he doesn't have a girlfriendMRE Dinner DateI had a date the other night at my place. On the phone the day before, the girl asked me to "Cook her something she's never had before" for dinner. After many minutes of scratching my head over what to make, I finally settled on something she has DEFINITELY, definitely had never eaten before. I got out my trusty case of MRE's. (Meal, Ready-to-Eat) Field rations that when eaten in their entirety contain 3000+ calories in each meal.Here's what I made: I took three of the Ham Slices out of their plastic packets, took out three of the Pork Chops, three. . don’t hurt me.’ She whimpers as she sees the cold, evil smile quirk the corner of his mouth, tangled in her own thoughts she thinks how she would have wanted to kiss that mouth in another time and place … then a blazing realization… he’s enjoying this .. she won’t be spared! He sees the realization in her eyes and laughs, a frightening sound, and backhands her, speaking softly in a cold voice .. ‘no safe words in prison, slut. Tell me or I’ll hurt you bad and I won’t stop till I’m good and ready.’ As if to emphasize his words, his big hand reaches into the bodice of her chemise tearing it from her as if it were a gossamer thin cobweb. Frightened dark forest green eyes widen and leap up to meet his, gasping as she tries to cover her nudity from the hulking Interrogator. He leans down, keeping her body pressed harshly against the cold cement brick of the walls, his lips come nearer and nearer, her body reacts as if in a dream, her lush red lips parting, begging a kiss. He laughs as he.
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