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One of my favorite fall holidays has always, been Halloween. Nothing beats seeing your kids dressed up in a cheesy costume, walking the streets begging for candy. With the smaller kids like mine, it's especially great because they're still getting used to the concept of having to go out among things that appear to be really scary, and at the same time get candy from anyone whose door they go up to and ask for it.My daughter Chelsea's Halloween experiences ranged from looking in the mirror and scaring the shit out of herself, to the point that I had to pick her up and hold her; to brazenly walking up to the neighbor's doors and saying "You have to give me candy."I'm Clifford (Cliff) Appling and Halloween "was," my favorite Holiday. As it approaches this year I've added a third child to my brood (she's already 8 and is now my oldest) and I love her just as much as the other two. I also traded in my wife for a sexier model with all of the upgrades. You guys know what I'm talking about.. "No!" suddenly she sounded real scared, she was just winding me up."Hell just you lay back and enjoy it, we're good together aren't we," I asked."You never rang," she said, "I never went to the cops until the night after." Shit!" it hit me, "You were never raped at all, were you?" "Yes, in the dark, I was sure it was you."“So now you know it wasn’t me why are you blackmailing me?” I demanded.“You’re doing OK, I never recovered, I need the money.” she pleaded lamely.“Money for what, Drugs?” I demanded. “Rent, I’m behind Ok, and I can’t,” she said hoplessly, “Make ends meet.”“Ok, fair enough, I’ll lend you some,” I promised.“I can’t pay it back,” she admitted.“On your back, fifty dollars a time,” I offered, “Might as well move in so I can screw you when I want.”“Gee,” she said, “If I could stay here and give up my apartment.”“You wouldn’t need a loan and I wouldn’t get to screw you,” I ventured.“You wouldn’t have to pay to,” she offered, “Do we have a deal?”“I guess,” I agreed. “So.
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