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And if this story’s going to start anywhere, I guess it makes sense for it to start there. I had taken an office job for a couple of weeks in Lewes—just a short train journey from home. Each afternoon, to get home, I have to walk past the local sex shop. And there was this bloke at the office—I had started to get obsessed with him—know what I mean? Any time I let my mind wander I’d be fantasizing about him. You know, broad shouldered, mane of hair, sense of humour, eyes that sparkle and made my knees weaken as I passed his desk. Mmmm. Anyway, I was thinking about Chris as I walked home from the station, and I was passing the sex shop. “What the hell,” I thought and stepped up to the door. Deep breath and I pushed open the door, my hear pounding. It had one of those electronic buzzer things that goes off when you open a shop door, but this one was mega-loud. It made me jump. Anyway, then I walked on in. I had never been in one of these places before so I had no idea what to expect. I. It seemed okay to him. "What'swrong with it?" What's wrong?" She threw her arm up in the air, totally exasperated."What's wrong?" she repeated. "Shit! Look at you. You're not a woman,and I am!" So?" So your shape looks a whole lot better in that top than mine ever does- in anything!"His shape?"I mean... look at you! All nice and slender and well, curvy in all theright directions. While I'm just... dumpy!"You're not..." Oh shut up!"Chad shut his mouth. He had been married before. He had been aroundwomen enough to know when to just let them rant."It's not fair! I don't eat that much. And I diet... whenever I can. Alot actually. I used to look like you, in fact, better! But since Igot married... and then after the baby... and then you come along andsuddenly change your whole... "outlook" on life. And within a month yougo from looking like a guy to much more like a woman. And you've lostweight. A lot of weight! Do you know how hard that is for me to do?"Chad knew when.
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