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This was a good time to stop, take a pee and walk back the other way. I stopped and sat along the little cliff. I had no towel to sit on but I’d take a little splash in the ocean when I was done if I was too sandy. But then I noticed there was a woman, a very white, red haired woman still walking up the beach behind me. She was still two hundred feet away. I could see she was carrying a beach towel and a bottle of suntan oil. I tried to pee but the flow would not start. I guess it was that same old ‘can’t-do-it-when someone- is-in-the-room’ mental block. I would let the woman pass, obviously she was looking for a place to set down, (probably a little further down the beach) and sunbathe. I would pee after she passed. But she did not pass. She slowed down her pace before she went by me. She pretended she was looking at sea shells. She took a few more steps and was almost in front of me. She was wearing a thong. A thong before they were really popular. A thong that was waaaaaay too. " Yeah, right. And you can stop the phoney 'I'm really ill but making an effort to appear not so' act, Andy. I know you too well."I slumped back in to the pillows. This was going to be much harder than I'd feared."So what's the problem? As soon as I mentioned Jenny's name, I could see you were shocked. You hid it well - you always do - but I knew there was something wrong; and forgetting the file? You never forget anything. So, give."I marshalled my thoughts; some portion of the truth and a few lies of omission might get me off the hook. I started to speak."Okay, you're right. It's not Jenny though; it's the name. It reminded me of someone I knew a long time ago. She'd been hurt - badly - and I'd tried to help her. At first I thought I'd been successful, but then I found out that I'd hardly scratched the surface of it. I failed her, Kate." Unexpectedly I started to cry, the raw emotion that I'd thought that I'd buried a decade or so ago rushing back with a vengeance. It was this,.
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