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St. Peter - “How did you come up with that answer Forrest?” Forrest “Well, there’s January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...”, and St. Peter interrupts “Well, yes, again, not the answer I was expecting, but correct in its own way.” “Final question Forrest. What is the first name of God?” Forrest immediately speaks up, “Why that is easy St Peter, it is Andy!” St Peter replies “Why do you think it is Andy, Forrest?” “From the hymn St. Peter, ‘Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me” said Forrest in a sing-song voice. St. Peter stares at him for a minute, then opens the gate “Run, Forrest, Run”For nurses -What is the difference between a nurse and a toilet seat? A toilet seat only has to face one asshole at a time!What is long and black and hangs around an asshole? A stethoscope!This one is compliments of AttilaA brand new automation technology has been announced.It’s so advanced and effective, that from now on, only a pilot and a dog will be required in all aircraft.The pilot will be. " How much of a life can you have living in the lamp?" asked Martin."I don't live in the lamp, that's just what I have to say when I firstcome out, it's part of the spell. I live in Burbank and I write screenplays for a living. Look I didn't ask you a lot of personal questions,I just asked you what your wish was, snap it up, lets go okay?" Is there a limit to what I can wish for?" No, anything goes except I won't kill or help you kill anyone." Can you make someone fall in love with me?" Yes, I said anything goes, can we do this while I'm still young,please?"Okay, I just want to do this right, anything except killing someone huh?Okay here goes, I wish..." Wait, stop, I forgot to read the disclaimer," Fred said."Disclaimer?" asked Martin."Yeah, there was this lawsuit last month and part of the settlement wasI would read this disclaimer before granting any future wishes. Mylawyer drew it up. Here goes listen carefully:"In consideration of your act of kindness in freeing Fred the.
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