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"You probably don't even remember me, Jake. We haven't seen each other for nearly twenty years. I'm Sarah Richards, your long lost second cousin on your father's side from Toronto. I think the last time we met up was at a family reunion back when you were in high school and I was about to be."She was right; I didn't remember her. "I'm sorry. I hardly ever forget a pretty face but I didn't even know I had a second cousin named Sarah."She laughed. "Flatterer! Don't feel bad, though. As I recall, at the time, you were smitten with a blond cheerleader and completely ignorant of the mousy girl with glasses who had a big crush on you. I had to suffer in silence because we're related and nobody would have been sympathetic to my cause." Well, I can hardly picture you as mousy and I apologize for the snub. But I'm all grown up now and my manners have improved." I nodded at her iPad and asked, "What are you reading?" Bryson's 'A Short History of Nearly Everything'. It's the most fun I've ever. . like a Cretellian would ever vant to be making zhe vhoopie vhit zat mopey, stone faced Bella Svan!”The sight of Drillax smiling and laughing, though still somewhat disturbing, made Carl laugh again. It was nice to know he could get the normally strait-laced doctor to loosen up a bit. And the fact that the scary bastard had managed to bash the much reviled (or much beloved ... depending on your viewpoint) vampire telenovela of a film series made it all the funnier, especially coming from a real ‘vampire.’ “So, you won’t start sparkling like a faceted crystal when exposed to sunlight?”“Hardly. It is razher like an accelerated form of vhat you Dunkarians call sunburn, except ve rapidly progress from your level one burns to lewel sree and four degree burns in mere moments from exposure to a star such as zhe von in zis system. Vizh longer exposure, organ, muscle, tendon, and skeletal damage iz qvuite rapid. It is not, as you Dunkar say, a pretty vay to go.”“Well, if we ever go visiting.
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