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Instantly she jumped to her feet. ‘Stand on one leg. Put your left index finger in your right ear. Stick your tongue out at Fran.’ As these orders met with immediate and unquestioning compliance, Fran’s look of bewildered horror intensified. As the final clincher I tried to think of something as un-Connie-like as possible. ‘Hum the national anthem’. She did it. I took pity and stopped her after the first couple of bars. I could see I had made my point. ‘Sorry, Connie,’ I apologised. ‘I hope I’ll never ask you to do anything so silly again, but I had to make Fran understand how things are.’ ‘That’s all right, James. You know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.’ ‘Well,’ I suggested, making a more sensible and reasonable demand this time, ‘in that case perhaps you’d better go to the cooler and get Fran a glass of water, I think she needs it.’ While Connie was gone poor Fran opened and closed her mouth once or twice but no words escaped her. Connie returned with the water and I. And we don’t know if we’ll be able to handle two. So, it’s a bit of a dilemma.”I said, “Wow. That is really complicated.” Turning to Cherry I said, “Babe, no offense but, you’re going to carry any children we have!”A few laughs preceded Cherry’s follow-up joke, “Fine: but you’ll have to drive me to the sperm bank first.”Olivia and Amanda laughed like it was the funniest thing they’d ever heard.I responded to Cherry’s stinger with faux pain, “OOOOO…. But what happened with the mailman?”Cherry quipped, “We broke up.”Olivia and Amanda were on the verge of tears, they laughed so hard.Changing the subject once the laughter died down a bit, I said, “There is something I’ve been a little curious about and I was wondering if you would mind telling me?”Olivia said, “If you ask ‘which of us is the man’, I swear I’m going to punch you!”I said, “NO-no-no! That’s not it! I promise. Clearly you are both the woman—that’s just how it works. My question is: when you got married, did either.
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