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When I discovered I was pregnant, I was still hesitant to marry you, but you insisted you loved me enough for the both of us. Do you remember that?”“Yes, and I still do.”“Eventually, when I started to show, I said yes because I didn’t want my child being born out of wedlock. But I also don’t want to be trapped in a loveless marriage, like so many couples I’ve known.”“I still don’t understand. Where have I failed you, Marika?”“You haven’t failed me. You’re the most caring man I’ve ever known. Plus, you’re highly intelligent and a sensitive lover. I thought I would have to be crazy not to marry you. I truly believed that in time I would grow to love you.”"So, what’s the problem?”“The problem is, after five years, I still don’t love you with the passion a wife should love her husband. Of course, I care for you and I always will. You’re my best friend and father of my son. I truly believe that eventually you’ll find a woman who will love you as you deserve.”“That’s a load of crap. I. Taboo for me, for some reason, had gotten to be a major turning point in my life. I would think about so many perverted things, get these "feelings" that would not go away, and my hormones had been going crazy.After ten years of marriage, doing the same thing over and over again, being with the same boring person, dealing with a prude, stuffy and boring attitude, I finally wore out. I finally got tired of it. And when opportunities came up to do things I "knew" I shouldn't do, I ignored the "right and wrong" ideas, and just simply did them anyhow. Lord, how good it felt. How exciting it was. And how much I enjoyed all of the different things I'd never done in the past.To say "interesting" is a simple word. To say "crazy" might be a better description. To say "immoral" doesn't even touch on what I'd been involved in. I'd wake up in the morning, look myself in the mirror, ask myself "did I really do that?" and then think about how long it would be until hopefully it would happen.
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