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I wiggled around to hug Millie to me, and kissed her. She hugged me back and whispered, "I dreamed of Bernard and Momma and Daddy. I even think I saw Ben with his old mule, but he had a woman with him. Eliza was there, and I'll bet the man with her was Bud. Bernard seemed so real. I wanted to hug him, but he just smiled and told me to love the man I have now. Why would I have a dream like that?"Millie sniffled a couple of times before telling me, "I had to hold back when Bernard died, because Summer needed me to be strong. I had to feed us and take care of us. I cried almost every night for a year, until worrying about food became more important than missing him. Now I have food, I have you, I have our baby, and I now remember Bernard. Don't be mad at me for thinking of him."With a hug and kiss on the forehead, I said, "How could I be mad at you, Millie? You are my wife, my mate, the mother of our baby. I love you, Millie, and we'll take care of each other for the rest of our lives.. Anything that required social interaction of any kind I would avoid including school dances, parties, and even the town festival. anything where I would have to talk to people. I was still afraid that somebody would find out my secret. the only thing that I enjoyed in school was art class and it was the only thing I tried at. but my mother didn't seem to excited about that. One time I brought home a painting to work on for class and she told me she didn't want me working on it in the house and that if I was going to work on it I had to take it outside. I did do well in art class and even went on to art school with out her support. Maybe she did try and support me but if she did I just didn't see it. I did find that in my painting I could express my feminine side which relieved my perverted feelings a little while I was in art school so I didn't dress up for a hole year I still felt the urge to dress but I was able to resist. I didn't go back my second year this turned out to be a big.
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