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We’re both a little turned on by exhibitionism anyway…” he said, smiling at his girlfriend.God, Jack thought, this is crazy. He had never been involved in such a kinky situation as this. His logical instincts told him to decline the offer. But, then again, he was a little tipsy… and both Lauren and Scott were good looking. It would be fun to see them together – and he knew he would definitely regret it later if he didn’t take the opportunity when he was given it. “Okay, sure,” he said.“Oh, good!” Lauren exclaimed. She and Scott stood and guided him to their bedroom. There was no time to back out now. As they entered the bedroom, Lauren once again turned her attention to Jack. “There are only two rules for the first time,” she said. “First, no touching. You can only watch. And second,” she smiled, “you have to play with yourself while we make love.”Jack raised his eyebrows, unprepared for the second rule.Lauren said, “So what do you say, Jack?”What the hell, he thought. “Okay. Sure,. As a girl.Because that's what I have to be.Because that's who I am.I don't hang about; time, tide and breakfast at the Gladstone wait for noone.*Norah Russell reads the note she found beneath the magnetic elephant onthe side of the fridge-freezer and fixes me with a look that couldtransform a jeroboam of the finest Champagne into a liquid only a fish andchip shop or a pickle factory might find a use for. There's more steamcoming from her ears than the Flying Scotsman generated at top speed. Wereher hairnet to work loose, it would take off with such force as to leavegaping holes not only in the ceiling and the roof but in all likelihoodthe ozone layer as well."A continental breakfasht?" she seethes. "In her room? Where doesh shethink she ish, the Shavoy?" I'll see to it," says Sylvia, who unlike her mother has ventured abroadseveral times and doesn't subscribe to the view that if God had intendedher to wander around mainland Europe He wouldn't have put the EnglishChannel in the way..
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