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But, he also reasoned the day would never have been like this if she had still been alive. For one thing, they probably would not have been in Bradford at all; Julie didn't like the town, thought it was too primitive and too far out in flyover country to pay attention to. The only times she'd been there were when Dave had insisted it had been too long, and she'd never been happy when there.No, if she still had been alive, the Christmas celebration would have been much more low-key in their long-gone New York apartment, or, more likely, up at her parents' house in Connecticut. Christmas with the Albrights had always been much more formal, much more low-key as well -- while the boys were allowed some seasonal excitement, there was a limit on it. Dave had tried to be circumspect about it, but he enjoyed the Albrights house about as much as she enjoyed Bradford. The Albrights insisting on their presence at one event or another had all too often won out over Dave's wishes. The Albrights. I looked horrible.And these clothes had to go. Despite the thought of it filling me withabsolute terror, I knew that I had to accept these changes for now andat least get covered up. When I was dressed decently I could see aboutchanging things ? maybe go to see a doctor, or a witch doctor at least!***The doorman wasn't in reception, which filled me with relief. I didn'twant anyone to see me like this.As soon as I got outside I realised I'd made a mistake. With autumncoming on fast it was too chilly for a sleeveless top. On top of thatI'd left my handbag inside. I turned right round, cursing myforgetfulness and banged up against the locked glass front door."Fuck me! What a pile a shit!" I didn't have my keys to get in. Ibanged against the glass with the heel of my fist, shouting forattention but nobody came. This was terrible! And I was freezing too.I checked the pocket of my tracksuit. The only good thing that hadhappened to me in the last forty eight hours was that there was.
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