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But I used to put that down to high spirits, fearful of the feelings that dwelt within me.It was a friend who suggested that I shouldn't suppress these longings: that it was perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. I now realise, after being liberated from these fears, that I might have been running after boys to prove to myself that I didn't have any feelings towards my own sex.It was Wednesday night, after another emotionally unfulfilling sexual joust with Carlo, that I finally decided to urburden myself on Rose. But I didn't foresee the consequences of my telling Rose of my troubled sexual and emotional life with Carlo and Ed. I was frustrated by Ed's lack of sexual drive, and now understood that the eagerness of Carlo's love making was not a manifestation of love for me, but merely of a****l lust. I just had to tell someone.I wanted to ask Rose's advice on life and love. I wanted to learn more about how she became my Dad's lover. I knew she's also been working at a bikini. You allowed your hands to explore my body as we continued to kiss, but you took your time, teasing, fanning the flames. I could tell that you were starting to get to the point where the human and the animal intertwine and the edges of both fade into one, so you picked me up again and set me back on the ground. You took my hand and led me around to the front of the house. The majestic façade of our honeymoon present took my breath away and I got teary eyed when you picked me up and carried me across the threshold. You set me down in the living room and we started kissing again. Before long we were both pulling at clothes trying to minimize the barriers between our flesh. You lost your right shoe, then the sock, and your jacket and I had lost my jacket, and the clip in my hair. When we started trying to take off your shirt without first undoing your tie, you were forced to stop us both and make us take a breath. My breasts were heaving, our breathing labored, and we were both.
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