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You're not to see that woman again.For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.He paused for a moment and then started to leave.The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'Lemon SqueezeThere once was a religious young woman who went toConfession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long and hard and then said,'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.' The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off. “I hope I’m not interfering with any of your plans tonight. I mean if you are planning to go out it’s no problem,” Mia said as they walked. “Do you always ramble?” He smiled after he asked indicating that he wasn’t being rude but only jesting with her. “It’s fine by the way. I don’t have any plans tonight so it will be nice to have company.” From the corner of his eye he could see her smile back appreciatively. Making Mia smile made him forget all about the drudgery of his shift that day and the increasingly hostile girlfriend that was back in Toronto. They arrived at Jesse’s place fairly quickly. Now into winter the air outside had grown chilly and snow was fast approaching. Once inside, they were both grateful for the warmth of the small apartment. Since neither of them had eaten yet, Jesse suggested ordering a pizza which, at that moment, sounded like heaven to Mia. “Do you want a beer while we wait for the pizza to get here?” he asked politely. “No thanks. Can I have water.
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