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. SEX...! SURVIVOR!"The audience erupts in applause, hoots, and whistles. Dozens of enormous video screens around the stadium-like studio fill with camera shots of raucous audience members."I am, as always, Art Timms!" the announcer tells the world. After a pre-recorded intro reminds the audience of the 10 returning contestants standing behind him, Art continues, "And tonight, it is my pleasure to introduce our two newest contestants, ...Gail Taylor...!"From one side of the stage, a woman in a tight fitting, curves emphasizing one piece bikini rushes out. The crowd roars, particularly but certainly not limited to the men of the audience."... and Greg Durn!"From the other side of the stage, a well built man in spandex shorts -- tight to emphasize his 'package' -- runs out to yet another roar. And just as with the female contestant, his admirers are not solely from the opposite gender.After a short interview of each, Art reviews the rules of Sex Survivor. He finishes by explaining, "A. " I think we all get it," the co-host said dripping with fake overdoneresignation. "I mean don't they all look like that?" So you aren't excited?" the host jibed."Of course I am! Finally a non-white named flu. It's been ages!" We had Lucy the year before last." Which was half white and half asian," the co-host countered. "A realnon-white was half a dozen years ago. Remember Selina?" How could I forget. I caught Selina back then," the host admitted. "Nowfor those who don't want to catch Selina or any other old named flus getvaccinated now. It won' help you now with Naomi, but ..."Alan finally managed to stretch enough to turn the radio off."What a scam," he mumbled to himself. "All the pharma companies are inthe pockets of the clothing and makeup industries anyway."Still grumbling he managed to step into his bathroom and shower. Thenmade his way downstairs to the kitchen. His parents already busy eating."Morning," his Mom greeted him. "Don't get too close. I think I got theflu." First.
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