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That was who Carmine was. That was who he was all those years ago and who he still was.But what was most important to me was that Carmine put me and Ruben first in his life when all this happened. He put us first and went to jail to spare us! God, what that did to me was almost enough to drive me insane. He forgave me years ago! How could he have done that? What I did wasn't so easy to forgive! I hadn't even succeeded in doing that for myself! That made me stop and think of what Carmine had been living with all these years. He felt he was guilty and that he had gone to jail to atone for his sin. But the sin was mine. If I hadn't been with Hugo that day, none of this would have happened. Carmine had to know that!I could see that Carmine had said what he wanted to say. Now, it seemed he was giving me my chance to say all the things I wanted to say to him all those years ago. I sat up straight on the couch, turned to face him and began."Carmine, I have to tell you that you are wrong.. This is the one I picked out especially for you to read. It's one of your Mom's favorites." I handed her a small, well-read paperback."OK, I guess," she sighedShe was getting off light, and we both knew it. But it was the thought that counted, I guessed. She had crossed the line and she acknowledged I had the right to remind her of it. Actually, I felt pretty darn good about how it had gone.Janey stopped me on my way out the door. "Larry, as long as you're going to act like one, can I call you 'Dad' sometimes?" she asked softly.I grinned and nodded at her. I didn't trust my voice to speak any more at that moment. I had tears in my eyes as I walked back to Sally's bedroom. I had a knot in my throat and wasn't paying much attention as I walked back down the hall to our room. I anticipated a quick trip to the car and then to bed. If I was lucky, Sally would wake up, forgive me, and I would get lucky. Otherwise, we'd just get up late tomorrow morning.I reached under my blazer for my gun..
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