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I'm in love with him.I want him to hold me, and kiss me, and do things I am not equipped forwith me ....Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off somehow.I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but who?My dad is a man's man, he's counting on me to follow in his footsteps. Goto collage, be the Big Man on Campus, marry a girl just like mom, he'dnever understand.And Tammy's counting on being the girl in that picture, I can tell this inthe way she talks about our future. And yet the more time I spend withher, the more I envy her more than I desire to be with her. She'd neverwant. When I had changedI opened the door to find Stacy waiting for me. She took my hand onceagain and asked, "Ready, dear?" I nodded my agreement and we were offagain. We entered another room and Stacy closed the door behind us. The roomresembled a doctor's office more than a Salon, with an examination tablein the center of the room. Stacy patted the table and said, "Loosen yourrobe and sit up here." I did as asked and Stacy slipped the robe downover my shoulders exposing my bra. She gently undid my bra and slid itoff me. I instinctively tried to cover my breasts with my hands. Hervoice was soothing. "Don't be shy. I see girls every day. Even girls likeyou. Lay back. We need to remove these forms so your skin can breathe fora while." Stacy worked with a solution that smelled like fingernailpolish remover, and slowly but surely she was able to remove my breastforms. When she was done she handed me a pair of foam inserts and told meto put my bra back on and to use the inserts for now. With.
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