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' We eat bad food and talk about nothing important.She drops me off at my place later that night. I say goodbye and walk inside.We get teased about the whole situation for the week, but stoicism is very effective against most teasing. She just keeps saying we are just friends.We are.We see each other more often. As friends. I do not have transportation to get to a good theater so it is a ready-made excuse. After a movie, going out to eat seems natural. As friends.The problem with playing the 'hang-out friend' card is that along the way you might get caught having to make a turn in the maze because you are a friend, and not a possibility. It sucks, but then I can usually work myself back if I'm careful. It requires waiting patiently for the right moment to reestablish certain facts, but women are worth it.It happens somewhere. I am now not a friend, but 'just a friend.' It is an amusing state but at the same time frustrating.I wait.Small things reestablish my sexuality, like talking to. In fact, my mind wasn't anywhere.Huh. So much for overthinking.It was hard to overthink, I realized, when there wasn't much to think about. The die had been cast. I didn't know if Tina'd want me after she asked whatever she'd wanted to ask, and I didn't know if I'd still be friends with Sherri and Lisa. But now there was nothing I could do.Somehow, that thought was more relaxing than I would have expected. My gut wasn't churning and my heart wasn't pounding. The only real symptom was that I was distracted. I couldn't focus on the book in front of me. I couldn't simply sit and watch the door. I was too edgy to pace, but too energetic to stay still. So I waited. And waited. After about fifteen minutes I finally gave up and walked into the kitchen. At least I could make coffee and have an excuse for being jittery.I found the coffee, but someone had let the old pot get really scummy. I went to wash it and found the remains of some lunch dishes in the sink. What the heck. I pushed in the.
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