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Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.”Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.”John Breen, Houston Oilers: “We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost.”Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the Atlanta Falcons: “The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.”Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher: “When I’m on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo.”Paul Horning, Green Bay Packers running back on why his marriage ceremony was before noon: “Because if it didn’t work out, I didn’t. "Ms. Madeline Lee, your counselor, has asked me to meet with you on shortnotice and prior to your psychological evaluation here at the RegionalCenter. This is unusual. Because of your age your case is a challengingone. Our regional team has evaluated many boys for gender reassignment.As you probably know, only very special boys are considered; eachindividual school typically refers someone for reassignment evaluationonly every couple of years. Not every boy who is evaluated there isapproved to become a girl. I have reviewed the material sent me by Ms.Lee, and I have now spoken to your mother."Kyle was breathing heavily and his fingers were gripping the chair arms."You appear to have been showing favorable traits since early childhood,and the fact that you were not fully evaluated in third grade or soonafter is most unfortunate. Now I am confronted with a child whose amazingaptitude scores indicates potential to make important scientificcontributions, but who has spent his middle.
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