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I skipped a few steps and I guess I had my grandfather to thank for that. He was a no-nonsense sort of fellow and laid down the facts of life early on in my life. That was shortly after I buried my parents and older sister. They had died in a car crash and blind luck had kept me home that day. So it was my gnarly old grandfather that raised me these last twelve years. If I wanted something I worked for it. So he figured I could beat my diagnosis with sheer willpower alone. He was wrong.I didn't moan and bitch. What was the point of that? I just made a list and decided to see how many things on it I could do before I died. It wasn't a long list but it was all I had really. The first thing on the agenda was to do as much travelling as I could before I got too sick to do that. I was glad I had done that at the onset. It was mainly hopping buses and trains to see the east and west coast since I had grown up in the Midwest. I had never seen the ocean before. My research took me to a small. .. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.“Hanging myself,” the blond replies.“It should be around your neck” says the guard.“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe”.( This one actually makes sense ... well, sort of... )An Italian tourist asks a blond man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”To which the blond man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A guy is walking along Whyte Avenue when he comes across a lamp partially buried in a garbage can.He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.The guy thinks for a moment and says, “I want to live forever.”“Sorry,” said the genie, “I’m not allowed to grant eternal life.”“OK, then, I want to die after the Liberals balance the budget and eliminate the debt.”“You crafty little bastard,” said the genie.These Are Compliments of John AA teenager had just gotten her learners.
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