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Besides, I had you to save me,” Will said gently, holding her tight and letting his thumb stroke reassuringly at the base of her neck.Janie went still and then started shaking against Will’s chest. At first he thought she had started to cry, but after a moment he realized she was laughing. “I suppose I did save you, didn’t I?” she said, still muffled into his shoulder.He gave her a strong squeeze. “Yes you did. Saved yourself too.”“I did not even like the idea of laying the Telling runes into the stonework when you first thought of it,” Janie said, “Now I am very glad you insisted.”“As am I,” Will agreed.“Legendary adventurer, Will Sterling, rescued by an office clerk,” Janie said, finally looking up at him.“You’re hardly just a…” his thought trailed off as he realized how close they were. Closer than they had ever been before. He felt a moment of electric tension that ran up his neck and felt like tickling behind his ears. She smelled faintly of honeysuckle. They were only inches. I don't particularly mind whether you write it correctly the first time, or whether you fix it afterwards, but this is the last time I see this sort of confusion. Do we understand each other?" Absolutely, Miss." Fine. Let's go then to the plot's coherence..."She shredded my story. There were lots of holes in the plot, things that didn't make sense, mistakes in dates, causes propagating back in time against all logic ... it was awful. In a way it had been easier to see the low-level spelling and grammar corrections filling the pages with red ink than to hear her destroy the whole thing. I could tell myself I just didn't have a good eye for detail, but my stories were creative and worth telling. She was right, though: it would take a lot of work to salvage such a thing."Now, I have an objection to the way you deal with Adam's change. He's a successful, if small-time, business owner. He's single, independent, arrogant and stubborn. You told your readers that much, and you've shown it.
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