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She stares at Mesmer with conviction. ‘Let’s do it.’ Without taking his eyes off her, he commands, ‘Take a seat in the waiting room, Mark.’ Not wanting to weaken her resolve I exit silently, quickly… slamming the door behind me. Jackie smiles at me reassuringly as I pass her in the hall. I plop down in a chair, pick up the tome on the coffee table: The Century In Review. I start thumbing through pages of pictures: suffragettes, trench warfare, Kittyhawk, breadlines. *********************** Dr. Mesmer stares at me intently. It seems that he’s never stopped staring, not since he asked Mark to leave the room. It’s a compelling stare, authoritative, and not without a tinge of compassion. He really cares, really wants me to overcome my distaste of tasting penis. I tell myself I won’t look away for the sake of my marriage. But I’m not sure I could look away even if I wanted to. He reaches into the lapel pocket of his lab coat and whips out an oversized, golden paperclip, tied to the end. When ever Jay talks about his c***dhood it weakens him and puts him in a state of deep depression. Jay was adopted he never knew his biological mom or dad. He would jokingly say things like "my own parents didn't even want me, so i know i'm fucked up" but i knew he really felt that way. His foster parents were cruel to him, they would say things like "that's why your mom gave you up nigger" he was adopted by a racist white couple( odd right). He lived with then from the age of 3 until he was 13. When he was 13 he joined a gang, and went head first into the street life. Selling d**gs, and murdering rival gang members was a like second nature to him. Jay always said that being in a gang was the closest thing he ever had to a family. He and his fellow gang members shared a since of brotherly love; they would protect each other, support each other and would kill or die for one another. At the age of 17 and young preacher took an interest in Jay and convinced him to join a mentoring.
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