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Blake babbled. Blah, blah,the future. Blah, blah, school spirit. School spirit? The twodirtiest words in my current vocabulary. I wanted a clove cigarette. I wanted my friends."All right, I'm gonna leave you girls with it, now," Mrs. Blake said. "Heidi, put them through their paces. I'll be in my office. All thatwork won't do itself!" Yes, ma'am," Heidi said, then she had us line up in a double row. Soshe was a suck-up, too. She didn't see my nasty smile.Then I realized without pockets in my pants and no book bag oranything like that, I had no place to put all the stupid papers Mrs.Blake had given me. I folded them, then shoved them under this weirdtire thing with a metal pole sticking out of it, like part of avolleyball net that had died and left its fossil there for us tomarvel over."Are you finished?" Heidi asked."Oh I'm finished all right," I told her. She had no idea what I wastalking about.Ready? Okay! The first thing I learned was to ball my fists on myhips and. #8 Life is sexually transmitted.#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.This is compliments of PepereOld one, but still good for a laugh.ALTAR BOY’S CONFESSION ‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.’The.
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