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I was frantically trying to find out where she was. When she arrived home I confronted her about why she was so late. She said that she had gone back to the office, but I know that this was not true because I had been calling there for hours. She also appeared desheveled (no make-up or panty hose). I pushed past me and took a long bath. I confronted her later about her whereabouts and her underwear that were completely soaked.She confessed that she had had sex with the Man she interviewed. She said her editor told her to get the interview and not to be afraid of interviewing him in the locker room. He had finished his workout and returned to the locker room. After some discussion about his great season, he said he was going to take a shower. Susan said that he just stood up and dropped his shorts and stripped right in front of her. It was the first time she had ever seen a Black Man's Cock. He told her that he would be righjt back and walked to the shower. Susan said she felt like. I knew that if it were indeed finally over, we could no longer be friends because of the lines we had crossed. At first it was upsetting to me and I tried to accept the ending of our relationship by telling myself, ‘It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all,’ but now I realize that what we had could never be categorized as love. It was pure lust and, more than likely, an attempt to compensate for what we had convinced ourselves was missing in our lives. And, just maybe, we wanted to taste that forbidden fruit we had heard so much about. Any way you slice it, if I had never allowed myself to cross that line between loving her and lusting after her, I might still have a friend who would be fun to be around, fun to visit, fun to share life’s experiences with, and fun to grow old with in an appropriate fashion. But the reality I must face is this: She has moved on and so must I. Don’t get me wrong, I still think about her and still have a small place in the deep.
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