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It was so long ago. I don’t know. I remember telling you that I didn’t want to be your lover. I do remember that. I remember your reaction. I recall that you didn’t seem too upset over it. I thought it was acceptance, just the usual disappointment of a man who realized that he wasn’t going to get into my pants after all. Now I realize that it was shock that made you so quiet about it. Believe me, I didn’t know how hard the blow was to you.’ ‘I wanted to protect you, Lynette. Remember those times you sat in my lap, in that very room, and cried about how lonely you were? I felt your pain, more deeply maybe than you knew. I didn’t want to bring you more.’ She was quiet for a moment, and then spoke again. ‘In retrospect, I remember how mature I seemed to be at that stage of my life … how mature I thought I was. But in many ways, I was still a very young, very silly girl. If I’d been more experienced, I might have caught the signs. It’s odd … I’ve done many, many sessions of counseling. Dinner, with Him. A night on the town, she figured He wouldn't end it just there, then who knows what else. She could imagine anything He arranged had to be lavish and romantic. She couldn't imagine Him doing things any other way. Other romantic ideas dancing through her head. Would He take her dancing? A moonlit walk on the beach? She would settle for a night in a cheap motel just so she could finally get some sexual relief! She laughed silently to herself, stifling the noise. She had felt the silence in the house all day gave it the feeling of an old library where no loud noises were the allowed.How would she ever busy herself for the rest of the day though? Finishing her tray, she decided she needed to totally occupy herself, lest idle fingers and a over-stimulated sex drive be left alone unsupervised. She wanted to save herself for Him no matter what He had planned. She decided to go to the library after lunch and try finding a big book to lose herself in.Finishing her lunch, she.
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