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The most innocent remark, the most casual contact with Lucy, would be enough to get our hearts pounding. To this day, I can't remember how many times we screwed each other over the next week or so, but it was enough to make Becky walk like a cowboy by the time we'd finished.Gradually, though, the memory of our incestuous fantasy began to fade. I had no idea what Becky's comment about "big plans" had meant, but a part of me was glad that we had descended no further into that dark, forbidden world. Instead, we satisfied ourselves with spying through the peephole, usually with Becky on her knees, her lips massaging my tumescent prick as I watched Lucy change her clothes. Okay, it's not exactly The Waltons, but at least we were limiting ourselves to a little harmless voyeurism.On a bright, cloudless Saturday, a little more than two weeks after the incident with Lucy's underwear, Becky took our daughter to the mall to buy some clothes, a strange females-only practice involving something. I was betraying everyone, or so it seemed, and the guy wasn't even my boyfriend. Brandon was just a guy I had sex with. Good sex. Great sex. The best sex of my life. Why was that bad?I couldn't let Karen find out.That thought hit me like a brick and I frowned as I made my way towards my class, barely aware of the people around me as I returned smiles and exchanged the occasional hello. Karen liked me. She loved me and I ... What did I feel? I'd avoided her Wednesday, all day long because of what I'd done Tuesday night. I wanted to forget it, actually. I wanted to rewind my life and never go to her room like I had. Why had I done that? Because I wanted something? Or was it because I thought I owed her something? I didn't know and I didn't want to think about it. Karen was complicated and sometimes I felt like I wanted to touch her, but I knew I wasn't gay. I wasn't a lesbian. I didn't find her attractive the way I did Brandon. She was my friend, my best friend, why did I have other.
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