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There was a wall of photographs of all the schools previous W2 candidates. I used to laugh with my mates at the before and after shots that lined the walls. I too would soon be hanging on this wall looking like a woman!When I went home in the dress as my own clothes never turned up, my mum beamed with pride! “I guess we need to go shopping soon my dear.” She said stroking my hair. ”We have only two weeks until graduation then everything changes.”My Dad was not so pleased I sensed. Whilst it meant that him and my Mum would benefit, he too had a degree of ribbing with his work mates.My Dad too was a slightly built man and had a job collecting refuse and looking after the house and cooking for my Mum me and my big brother who was now an apprentice at the same refuse plant. He hadn’t talked to me since my selection.My Dad was from an era where transexualism and cross-dressing was still frowned upon, he had also lived through the more recent period where weaker boys were killed at birth. The whole episode took less than an hour, the sex less than half of that time and quite different from how I envisaged it might be. For me, the sex was nice, a pleasant release and an unexpected climax, but it lacked that certain something which makes it great. Perhaps it is that there was no romance in the event, a quickie almost, devoid of feelings or emotion, no tenderness or mutual arousal. It had nothing to do with love and that I find, hard to take.The Management weekend passes in a hectic round of inspirational talks. It is a busy time, punctuated by meal breaks and another night. You pretty much ignore me and when we do need to interact in the context of the weekend, you are aloof and keep me at arm’s length. I feel as if I have served my purpose and are now, no longer of interest.The following week, back at the College, you refuse my offer of coffee and are quite cold toward me. I feel as if I have done something wrong, done something to upset you or didn’t measure up. I ask.
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