Disgusted, he stood up, took the dish to the sink, and scraped the eggs into the garbage disposal. ‘I’m not hungry,’ he explained. ‘Gotta eat, boy,’ Uncle Ezra said, spraying food in Matt’s direction. ‘We have another appointment with the lawyer at two this afternoon,’ Matt said. His aunt looked surprised. ‘What’s that all about?’ she asked. ‘Yeah,’ Uncle Ezra peered at him suspiciously through blood-shot eyes, ‘How come we didn’t know about this appointment?’ ‘I ran into the lawyer downtown last night,’ Matt lied, ‘he said there were some papers that needed to be signed. They have to do with guardianship and my moving to Seattle.’ ‘Well, then, we better make sure we’re there,’ Uncle Ezra said. ‘Gotta get all that legal crap straightened out, don’t we?’ ‘We sure do,’ Matt agreed. Matt stayed in the darkroom and out of his aunt and uncle’s way for the rest of the morning. He considered developing the last pictures he took of Mary, but he decided to let those wait. He didn’t want to. And that’s fine, okay? We can talk about it more, later. For now, just know that I’m glad I’m here, and can explore and talk about things. Okay?”“You sure?” he asked.“I’m sure.”“Well fuck me to tears,” he sighed.I slapped him on the shoulder.“That might be rushing things a bit, don’t you think?” I said.As I stood under the spray of the shower I put my hands on the wall to support me. I’d felt exhausted, but now that I was clean, I felt better. What I was thinking about were the simply astonishing things I’d said and done, recently. I knew those things had been said and done by me, but it seemed like it must have been some other girl, some stranger who came and pretended to be me.He was right. I was vulnerable. I was vulnerable to the concept that I could say and do things here that nobody else on the planet would allow me to get away with saying and doing. That freedom, the freedom Uncle Bob was giving me, was intoxicating in a way that lowered my inhibitions. It made me feel bullet.
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