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."Curtain Rods" aka "Best Divorce Story Ever"She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for. I explained the situation to her, telling her that we couldn’topen today due to the power repairs being done. She asked if I wanted to be the one to call the boss or not. I said I would give him the bad news. I called the owner and explained the situation, and after several minutes of swearing he calmed down and said that there was no point wasting payroll having employees there in the dark and told me to send everyone home. I hung up and sat down on my tailgate preparing to wait for the other employees to show up so I could tell them that we were going to be closed today. Sam took a seat next to me on my tailgate and lit a cigarette. I lit one myself as she asked me what I was going to do with this unplanned day off and asked if I was headed home to my girlfriend. I told her my girlfriend was out with her friends for a wine tour and wouldn’t be home until after midnight. I told her that I was thinking of going to work out then maybe have a drink. I asked her if she had any plans..
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