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The man, looking at his watch, helpfully responds “Why, certainly! The time is now four o’clock”. The blonde scratches her head and says “You know, it’s really weird. I’ve been asking people that question all day long, and each time I get different answer!”Q: How can you tell an extroverted accountant?A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail. I looked round and this bloke shouts “That’s just for starters!”A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says “Sorry, you know the law, you’ve got to go back across the border right now”. The Mexican man pleads with them “No, noooo Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!” The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I’m going to make it hard for him and says “Ok, I’ll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence. The three words are ‘green,’ ‘pink,’ and. "Mum will kill you." Her voice was not shocked, more amused. I tried the angry approach "I've been trying to track you down doing things you shouldn't, now I've got you," When I'm at Ellie's and she has all the logs of your chats? Dad please don't be an idiot." She was right of course. I gave up and put my hang dog expression on "Any way you won't tell?" She looked at me for a moment, then said "call me on my mobile dad" and reached over Ellie's shoulder and the screen died.I picked my phone up, my hand shaking. Was this the end of my marriage? How was I going to get out of this one? I sat there frozen, not daring to make the call.The phone rang, I picked it up. "Dad, pick me up by the post office, 5 minutes." It was Julie's usual voice, maybe she had got over the business, maybe she was going to let me off. I went to get the car.It was more like 10 minutes before I got to the Post Office, and I stopped outside, just as Julie and Ellie came out of the shop. Julie opened the front.
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