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This was just crazy.It was 1:34 am, according to the alarm clock on his nightstand. He’d turned the clock to face him before offering his asshole to the dildo. The head was inside him, gripped tightly by his disbelieving sphincter. He was the asshole, he thought.Reaching out, he fumbled the bottle of Heineken, and then swigged a big mouthful. He’d ensconced the bottle in one of his dad’s ridiculous beer bottle sleeves. It kept the bottle surprisingly cold. He downed another big gulp.He was alone, the condo his until Sunday afternoon. Mom, Dad, Hillary, Olivia, and Hannah had gone to visit Grandma Constance in Columbus. He had a cache of bodacious dope with plenty of papers, and a case of Heineken in the fridge. Mom told him he could drink 3 beers a night and not be in trouble. Ryan was 16 years old. His birthday was two weekends ago.“This is fucking crazy,” he mouthed. “What kinda 16 year old boy fucks a dildo with his ass?”A crazy, horny one, he thought.Though naked and partly. It was thicker than usual since she had included newspaper articles and even a Gazette article. He unfolded the letter and began to read.My dearest Husband,firstly, let me assure you of the excellent health and wellbeing the children and I enjoy. I do not know if you heard about the fate of the Primrose. If you did, I fear that you had to be worried, and I trust that this letter will allay any fears concerning your family. Rather than telling the story in full detail, I have included a copy of the article that appeared in the Gazette. I am confident that your experience will allow you to fill in the gaps.Suffice to say that owing to bad luck and even more so to the utter asininity of a fellow passenger, the Primrose was taken by a French privateer and that poor Captain Porter and his mates were shifted over to the French ship whilst a prize crew took possession of our package. It was none other than your old acquaintance Lt. Bourdichon (you surely remember him as the wounded second.
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