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“But go on, that’s not the reason you were kicked.” “But it is. Well, in a way.” I took a few deep breaths. “His last command was that he wanted photographs of me in the faculty room.” “Photos?” I nodded. “Naked. Naked and,” my voice grew raspy, and I had to cough, then I whispered, “masturbating.” Jess’ eyes lit up like fireworks. “Let me get this straight, you broke into the faculty room, and they caught you, little Miss holier-than-thou Breanne Jones, naked and diddling yourself?” I hid my face behind my hands and nodded. “Oh! My! God!” She cried. “That’s the craziest thing I’ve heard in… ever!” “Don’t rub it in!” I protested. “It’s not funny at all!” “I guess it isn’t, for you,” she conceded. “And your parents?” “They called them. Told them the whole story, as if I wasn’t eighteen already. You’ve met dad and heard his christian morale sermons. He doesn’t want a sinner polluting his house!” “Conceited prudish asshole!” Jess took the words right out of my mouth. “What are you going. Youre just saying that because Im your mother, I said, fishing for more compliments, as I brought a plate to him. Trust me, Mom, he said, glancing down at my stocking-clad feet. Im not saying it because youre my mom. You really think Im pretty? I asked, as I moved away far enough to give him a chance to check out my entire body. Mom, youre hot. A MILF, he said, checking me out very unlike what a son should do. Although I knew what a MILF was, I asked all innocently, Whats a MILF? A Mom Id Like to Fuck, he answered. Oh! I said, acting surprised, again in full actress mode. All my friends want to fuck you, he continued. No way, I said, actually surprised by this. All throughout high school that was all I heard, he continued, how hot my mom was. Well, I guess its better than having an ugly mother, I joked, as I went to the table with my plate and sat down. He laughed, I guess. I asked about his day. He asked about mine. We kept the conversation generic. He told me he was going out with.
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