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Step One: Identity Confusion.“Who am I?” is the major question in this step. People in this stage of the coming out process start to notice their attraction to same-sex people and really question what it means. Am I gay? Am I a lesbian? Am I transgendered? Am I bisexual? Within this stage there may be a denial of inner feelings as a person continues to see themselves as a member of the mainstream, heterosexual population. Some may consider their behaviors as ‘just experimenting’. Some people in this stage might keep emotional involvement separate from their sexual activity; others may choose to have deeply emotional relationships that are non- sexual.Step Two: Identity Comparison At this stage, a person may try to find an explanation for why they are having the feelings they are experiencing. "Maybe I am gay. Or maybe I’m bisexual.” Feelings of isolation & alienation are common in this stage. A person might wonder “Is this a phase?” “Am I only attracted to this one same sex person, or. I can only assume you’re all motivated by our goal of a state title this year.’ Yeah, I was sure that was it. Is my sarcasm showing? ‘C’mon coach. You promised more of the story if we hustled and worked hard and we’re keeping up our end,’ said Vicki. ‘All right,’ I said. ‘Let’s see how bad you want it.’ The practice was a rousing success. The girls worked hard and never complained, and I didn’t even once have to send someone on laps around the court for lack of effort. I was suitably impressed so I allowed some more time at the end of practice to continue the story. ‘So, did you call her the next day?’ ‘Yes, I did. And it was the kiss that did it. Sure, I had enjoyed my time with her and she was certainly pretty, but that kiss she had given me was something special for the way it made me feel. I still wasn’t thinking long term relationship, but I was at least willing to explore the possibility a little bit. ********** I called Jesse a little after 2:00pm the next day. She.
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