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?She always dresses in tight black skirts and high spike heels with hergreat big boobs popping out of her sheer blouses.? She knew how you couldn?t say no to her.? When she asked you to help with the researchfor her new company?s training program, you never even asked about it.? You just started taking the special drinkbefore bed and listening to the tapes while you slept.? The hypnotic sedative Auntie Jessica usedworked so well.? Each night you slippedmore and more into babyhood.? You didn?teven know it. After a few nights, you started wettingthe bed.? You couldn?t understand whatwas happening to you.? Mommy Penny saidshe talked to the doctor and it was probably just a bladder infection.? She told you he wanted you to take some pillsand wear a diaper at night.? You couldn?tknow that the tapes made you want to be a baby.?A little girl baby.? So you let her put you in a diaper and rubberpants.? Pink rubber pants with littlehearts and flowers.? She told you that was all she could find. Did that, in Charles' mind make a marriage-breaking difference? What if he was not feeling jealousy or inadequacy, but repulsion to what I had become?I thought maybe I should shower to become clean for him and I told him that I would do that, but he said, "Please don't. Please come to bed with me and tell me all about your evening. Besides, I haven't removed your collar yet and this is what I wish." He was looking into my eyes as if he was looking for signs of something. I was looking into his and I did not see repulsion. I saw acceptance and love and uncertainty and most surprisingly, what I saw in his eyes was fear. In the few short months since I had so violated his trust, he had gone from wanting to leave me to fearing I may leave him.I was still wearing the collar. Whether he understood that he was testing me or not, this was a test. I could remove the collar and throw all the pain that I had felt at the prospect of losing him right back into his face. I metaphorically had him.
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