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Taking the dildo and the timer she walked slowly to the door, turned off the lights, and moved to the balcony door, the glass door all that separated her from the night. His instructions were clear, simple, allowing no room for error, the girl obeyed, licking the suction cup she pressed the dildo to the glass, set the timer and began.Her tongue spread saliva along the dildo's length, lips parting, jaw opening as she took it in, slowly, carefully, deeper, deeper, in her mind recalling everything he had taught her. Eyes closed she concentrated, tongue curling as she bobbed her head, taking a little more each time, feeling the dildo filling her, the head deeper and deeper. She gagged, spluttered, fought back the bile, tasted the bitterness, swallowed, and tried again, and again, and again.Kneeling there, hands clasped behind her back, the girl sucked upon the dildo, trying to obey, wanting to obey, needing to obey. In vane she took it deeper, gagging, choking, tears in her eyes, bile in. I went to gay clubs (not because I wanted to have sex with men, butbecause I believed it was a place I would find acceptance and be safedressed as I was) in full makeup, wigs and womens' clothes. It was nervewracking and again, the shame. Sometimes attempting to dress passably,sometimes more androgynously without a wig.Occasionally a gay man would proposition me. I would occasionally dancewith them because there was something excitingly humiliating about beingseen by others dancing with a guy on a dance floor in full view ofeveryone in the room as my pantyhose sheathed lags shimmered in thestrobe lights and 5 inch stilettos forced a very effeminately mincingstep.But I always rejected any physical attention. The idea of even kissing aman with his prickly stubble was repulsive. Let alone having sex withone was off-putting.Most of the time I would seek out the attention of women that I foundattractive - lesbian, bi or straight. Being with them; being dressedlike them; crossing my legs.
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